Mar. 12th, 2017

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Dreamed I was back in a Himalayan country that I hadn’t visited in many years and that I deeply loved. But I couldn’t remember its name! In that strange dream camerawork where you simultaneously inhabit yourself and see yourself, a great deal of the dream, was wide shots of me marching around stupas, muttering aloud: “Nepal? Bhutan? Sikkim? Tibet? Laos?” (I don’t know how Laos got in there; I know where Laos is.)

The country had changed. There was an enormous gold market now where there had once been a sanctuary. The outside of the gold market looked exactly like a Target store. I refused to go inside.

My mother was living in this country, too, somehow, and the action of the dream (which I mostly don’t remember) consisted of me trying to get back some jewelry that belonged to me but that she had pawned. In the end, I got the pieces back – a nondescript broach set with four lusterless stones, a single earring, two rings. I thought, Wait! Someone was actually willing to give her money for those? But they’re worthless.


Maybe there’s some sort of cosmic law about social events: The more you dread them beforehand, the more entertaining they will be.

Conversely, of course, something you’re really looking forward to will always turn out to be a drag.

The birthday party yesterday was a blast. Clark showed up!

I didn’t recognize him at first.

“Wow,” he said after I finally screeched and embraced him. “I thought you were giving me the cold shoulder.”

“No!” I said. “You look different. Have you lost weight?”

Clark snorted.

“But you look different!” I insisted.

He did look different. Healthier. Taller. Last time I’d seen him, he’d been waxen and pale. This time he had color in his cheeks.

We chattered like a pair of monkeys. It was so good to see him! I’d forgotten how much fun he is! The deal with Clark has always been that if he’s not having sex with you, he’s not particularly interested in you. We tried sex once or twice, and it didn’t really work out. But I always loved just hanging out with him – he is so funny and so upbeat – sanguine even – and so unapologetically himself!

DeeDee has gotten the cruise bug. She and Nadia went on a cruise, and had a fabulous time. They want Clark to come next time.

“But, of course, you won’t,” I said.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Clark said. “Third person in the cabin sails for free!”

“But – but – but – you’d have to tour foreign countries!”

“Says who?” said Clark. “They have volleyball on cruise ships. And ping pong. I like volleyball and ping pong. Also poker! And I’m a good poker player. The rest of them can go off and tour. I’ll just stay onboard playing volleyball, ping pong and poker!”

Next time I’m in NYC, I’m definitely gonna go by the Home for Wayward Wimmen for some extended hangout time. I’ve missed all three of them, Clark, DeeDee and Nadia.

“DeeDee’s been very depressed about the election results,” Clark told me. "Really depressed. She won’t even leave the house.”

“Is she still doing her music?” I asked.

“No!” Clark said. “She’s been too depressed.”

That's serious. DeeDee belonged to a rather famous vocal ensemble. They sang frequently at Carnegie Hall and toured the Swiss music festival circuit every summer.

I had this thought then that I’d lure DeeDee up to the Hudson Valley and spend three days spoiling her. DeeDee is a mover and shaker. She has great administrative talents. The revolution needs her! We can’t afford to have her on the wounded list.


A’s daughter Emilie was there, too. Emilie looks just like Jane Austen! Or at least the extant portraits of Jane Austen. Really a remarkable resemblance.

Emilie does social activist work in Burlington and was speaking about putting together a workshop that would teach people how to do social activist work.

I would actually drive to Burlington to attend something like that.

I am still very interested in doing something that would, that could, that might make a difference. But I’ve all but given up on the DCPAA. All the DCPAA seems to want to do is to recruit people as extras for an ongoing series of rallies and protest marches.

Rallies and protest marches may be all very well in their place.

But, you know: Enough.

I’m into really specific, quantifiable, actionable agendas. (Hey! I used to be a nurse.)

I want to start some sort of organization that focuses on voter registrations.

Yes, yes – it would register voters. But it would do more than register voters. It would act as a resource for voters. It would lobby to change repressive registration laws. It would try and motivate people to get out and vote.

And it would be nonpartisan. I don’t care if you want to vote for Trump. I don’t care if you want to vote the straight Democratic line. Just vote. It galls me when the majority of Americans don’t exercise a right that most people in the world don't have.

I am meeting with district assemblywoman Sue Serrino on April 10 to lobby on behalf of Schneiderman’s voting rights bill.


In other news… Killer blizzard forecast for Tuesday. End of civilization as we know it. I will have to eat the cats.

And I really must buckle down to make some money today.


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