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The Lucius KGB event was very healing. So glad I went to it. So grateful to the wonderful Ellen Datlow for putting it together.

BB came with, which was good because otherwise I would have spent the entire three hours bawling.

Photo is of Katherine Dunn, whom I had never met before and whose novel, Geek Love, I admire. Lucius lived downstairs from her those last years in Portland. She had a Glenda-Jackson-in-Women-In-Love-ish quality, which you can sort of see in this photo.

I spoke to Lucius for the very last time in Ithaca during a very dark time in my life when I thought that every hope, every dream, every vision I’d ever had was wafting away and that I’d become just another round steel ball skittering along down its square groove. Why even be alive? I wondered. And somehow Lucius heard this, called me, our complicated history notwithstanding.

“I believe in you totally,” he said to me that day.

I’m not sure that any act of friendship has ever meant more to me.


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Every Day Above Ground

July 2017

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